Face facts, Bob Check, she used you like an aloe-spiked Kleenex that night. Bonobo chimpanzees would have turned away in shame.
See?
Not even my subconscious will let me slide, months after the fact. Why do I even bother trying to convince myself I’m more than a furry ET’s booty call? I guess I’d like to keep some shred of self-worth in the face of the reality.
Misot shows up when she pleases, grabs me, tears my chastity asunder, and then drops me wherever it is convenient for her. I can’t even have normal relationships with human women because she abducts them if they’re in my bed when she shows up. They never call me again.
That night at the La Quinta, or rather, above the La Quinta, I tried to get a real answer out of her about why I got to be her boy toy when there had to be millions to choose from.
She looked up at me from the bed in her private cabin, a perk of command rank, and blinked her fiery orange eyes.
“Bobby Check, it boils down to chemistry. I wouldn’t lie to you about that.”
“How the hell can you have chemistry with me? I’m not even your species!” I got out of bed, damp as a washcloth, and tried to pace. The tight quarters hampered my nervous activity, so I paced in place.
“I know it is the same with your people. I’ve watched all the romance movies and all the porn I can get my claws on. You feel what you feel and you go after it.” She shrugged expressively. Two sets of breasts and broad shoulders make any upper body movement worth attention.
“Yeah, but we go after other HUMANS!”
“Well, we’re not as antiquated and moralistic as you are,” she said as she threw back her mane of hot orange hair. It was easy to see she was pleased with herself.
“You’re full of shit, Misot!”
“Chill out Monkey Boy. It isn’t as though you don’t get off, or get a cool ride in a flying saucer.”
“Sure! My penis is green for three days afterward and it hurts to pee. Oh, and the flying saucer ride ends in random places, where I’m abandoned, buck naked.”
“Deity of choice, you’re picky!”
“Damn it, you freaky purple bitch! The least you can do is put me back where you found me! Last time I ended up in Iran without a passport. It took an act of Congress, six bribes, and Amnesty International to get me home.”
“You primitives and your silly national boundaries,” she laughed. “You know, you could fight back? I’ve seen Tantric videos, too. You could learn to control your erections so you’d be unable to penetrate me.”
“I’m sure you’d find a way to get what you want.”
“True. I am a space-faring representative of a race possessing technology so far above your own as to appear magical.” She grinned, showing her yellow-ish dentition. “I’ve also got a prescription for Viagra and a sonic stun gun in my pinkie ring.”
I lost the remainder of my cool.
“You are a man-raping, four-breasted, furry, purple whore with orange hair and red, slitted eyes! You bugger school children, too, I bet!”
“Bobby Check, you forgot my vagina. It’s prehensile and I can talk with it. Remember?” She spread her legs and her parts moaned, “Klaaaaaaatuuuuuu niktoooooo baraaaaaataaaaaa.”’
