My wife and I just came home from dinner and a wee trip to TJ Maxx. Our neighbor across the street was out on his porch, enjoying the fine evening (pre-thunderstorm) air, and called out to me.
“I heard a rumor about you!”
“What?” I called back.
“Did you write a zombie book?”
“My daughter loves zombie stuff, and she found your book online.”
I’ve been outed as a horror author to my neighbor. I’m aghast.
I remember when his daughter was in the womb. I think she might be 11 now. He wanted to know if my book was PG-13 or closer to R, so he could decide if it would be appropriate for her to read. I told him it was R, for the violence alone. It didn’t seem…I wasn’t…Oy. I didn’t feel like mentioning the innuendo (in-their-endo) or the sex.
Shit. I’ve been outed.
Where’s my mommy? I want a blankie and a hug.
Oh. Wait. She passed away 11 years ago. (Mom? Stay right where you are. I can find the blanket myself, and I’m sure my wife will hug me. Thanks for being there!)