Tagged: teaser

Work in Progress: “Patience Unboxed”

I can’t write horror all the time. That’s why, among the manuscripts I’m working on, there are two horror titles, a “Manleigh Cheese” sequel, and three completely unrelated genre comedy pieces. One of these is entitled “Patience Unboxed.”

Every so often, I need an image, drawing, or photograph to flesh out the words. Sometimes people don’t agree, in the case of Frank from the “Blood Soaked” series, or they seem to like what my brain has offered up.

With “Patience Unboxed,” I needed something to look at that was mechanical/technological without being too “Ghost in the Shell,” or aggressive. I think I’ve managed that here. As for Patience, herself, you’d probably like her. I do.

Patience UnboxedHere’s a little excerpt from early on in the story.

After work on that overcast and smoggy Tuesday, he saw the box from the sidewalk and his heart skipped a few beats. It was almost too good to be true. Then again, his catastrophic thinking kicked in, it might belong to a neighbor who ordered something equally large.

His heart, overworked from rapid changes in mood, settled down into the monotone throb of the terminally fretful.

Regardless, he sped across the thick grass as though it was precisely what he’d been patiently longing for. Sure enough, it was his door the spongy crate rested against, and his name on the packing slip, laminated in weatherproof film to the front of the box.

“How am I supposed to get this inside?” Tony boggled when his eyes scanned the weight statement on the label. “I can’t lift 150kg!”

“Lift.” The box enunciated the word clearly and righted itself on little padded feet that Tony hadn’t noticed.

He was slightly taken aback by the sudden action and hopped backward three steps.

“Hello Anthony Milton Parker! Your long awaited companion is here! We suggest unwrapping your companion indoors. Let’s go!” The box had an insanely chipper voice, verging on disturbing.

“Oh,” Tony breathed. “Okay.”


“Wait, you’re not the voice of my… companion, are you?”

“Nope!” The box chirped. “This is the voice of the companion packaging system. I am here to serve all your companion storage needs. I have compartments for everything your unit will need…”

“Great,” Tony cut the box off before it could get any louder and annoy his neighbors. “Let’s go inside and you can show me everything.”

“You just cut me off in the middle of my specifications list, didn’t you?” The companion packaging system whined.

Blood Soaked and Gone teaser

The latest teaser, warm from the keyboard, just for you!

I stood up a little straighter, took a deep breath, and cracked my back. Awareness of the world edged back into my mind—funny how intense emotions can absorb you—and I looked at the small room as if I’d never seen it before.

Chunhua was absorbed in the machine on the table. Jeff and Rebecca were talking, foreheads pressed together, as they sat on the examining table. The Man Scythe rested against the steel frame of the table, probably in need of a major cleaning. Our bags and belongings were strewn around the room.

“I didn’t pack a change of underwear.” I said, out loud, to no one in particular. “I don’t know how long I’ve been wearing these clothes. I’m covered in dried critter gunk, too.”

Jeff looked up at me, coated in a layer of icky stuff, and I stared back. How had I not noticed the condition we were in?

“Lad,” he said, “this is war. Smelling like a slaughterhouse, without a change of Y-fronts on the horizon, is par for the course. Now, stop it before you start crooning for the Champagne you don’t have.”

“He’s just sour because he’s a pretty, pretty princess in disguise.”

I was flabbergasted.

“Rebecca,” I asked, “did you just launch a snarky comment in my direction?”

“I did.”

“I’d say you’re starting to feel like part of the family,” Chunhua spoke up. “That’s good.”

Another little tease from “Blood Soaked and Gone”

Anything we might have said after that was drowned out by Chunhua’s techno-telepathic barbarian yawp. It surged through our brains and curled our toes.

As a unit we all cried the same question back to her, “WTF?!”

“I got it!” She yelled. “Mine, I tell you! Mine!”

Did you know that you can hear someone cackle like an evil witch through nanotech cellular service? You can, because Chu let off something that left claw marks inside my skull and made my bladder twitch.

I got up and booked to the next room, along with almost anyone else in a leadership position. 410 got crowded in seconds. That’s the power of technologically enhanced twitch reflexes, I guess.

Chunhua was sitting on the floor with the most disturbing, moist-eyed, teeth-bared expression of bloodthirsty triumph on her face I’d ever seen. Any alien, zombie, sociopathic turd, or giant monster would have trembled in the face of a loaded Chunhua Yan. Something, or someone was going to die, and I thanked my lucky stars that it wasn’t me.

“What is yours?” I asked, since I was standing right in front of her.

“I hacked it.” She beamed up at me.

“You rock.” I gasped in awe. “There has never been rock that rocks as completely as you rock. No topography has ever been so stony and rigid as your rocktasticness in this moment. I am honored to be in your presence.”

“Jesus Christ, Frank, d’ you think you could pour it on a little harder than that?” Shawn kicked me in the shin.

“Not without a fire hose.”